Origin of love
Anthropologist Helen Fisher says that when our ancestors, the Australopithecines, began walking on two legs 4.4 million years ago, they also began to have romantic feelings. This evolution led humans to start hunting with tools and eating nutritious meat, making their brains more active. Then, women were forced to stay with their children because the birth canal became narrower due to the support of two legs, causing them to be born prematurely. So, they began to identify their partners by memory. Men also began to help raise their children by providing nutritious food for them. All of this led to the development of romantic feelings, as men and women formed specific pairs to ensure that their children would be raised (Fisher, 2017).
How do people fall in love?
Humans usually fall in love in three stages. The first step is lust. It involves testosterone and estrogen, which are hormones in the body that cause sexual feelings. The mechanism of these hormones is not much different from other mammals, stimulating the brain to try and satisfy the desire.
The second step is attraction. Couples can’t think about anything but each other, and they are crazy in love. During this time, the neurotransmitters dopamine, adrenaline, and norepinephrine are released. These hormones cause us to sweat and our heart rate to increase, and we are temporarily driven crazy as if by magic. At the same time, there is a lurking danger of getting caught up in an idealized image, so be careful.
The third step is attachment. Couples take their relationship to an advanced level and begin to make long-term plans together, such as having children. At this time, another different and important hormone, oxytocin and vasopressin, are released. This series of different chemicals are rewarded for forming the mechanism of love. In other words, romantic love is a natural reaction for humans.
However, even the most ardent love can go cold, and Anthropologist Helen Fisher said that the shelf life of love is three years because the heart of love will not be able to function. In general, love lasts from 18 months to 3 years at most, when dopamine is released. This is because, in the past, when a couple’s child was born prematurely, the parents did not need to take care of the child all the time once the child was 3-4 years old. Therefore, she suspects that this is a limited-time love until the baby’s growth is complete. Also, humans may have left behind a genetically diverse variety by having yet another kind of love (Fisher, 2017).
Advantages and disadvantages of falling in love
Lauryn Gerard has shown that the benefits of falling in love include reducing anxiety and stress levels and increasing life expectancy. Hence, they can reduce their chances of seeing a doctor, which also saves money (The Surprising Health Benefits of Love, 2021). In contrast, the disadvantages of being in love are the possibility of unhealthy jealousy and mental illness. Also, people who are in love need to make an ongoing effort to be patient and respect each other’s opinions.
Conclusion
Generally speaking, the duration of shelf love is said to be three years, even if you consider the time that dopamine is generated. In other words, the time when dopamine is being produced and the time when love is said to be blind are very similar. Indeed, people used to judge love as only time-limited, just for the sake of procreation. As time goes by, couples have trusted each other and built relationships. Besides, continuous love will be continuing in a slightly evolved and different way.
However, while it is an inevitable human reaction to be blinded by love, take advantage of the day with your special person or other relatives and feel happy physically, spiritually, and emotionally.
Reference
- Fisher, H.E 2017, Anatomy of Love: A Natural History of Mating, Marriage, and Why We Stray, Completely revised and updated, first published as a Norton paperback. New York London: W. W. Norton & Company.
- NHKオンデマンド. 2021. ＮＨＫスペシャル 女と男 最新科学が読み解く性 第１回 惹（ひ）かれあう二人 すれ違う二人 －NHKオンデマンド. [online] Available at: <https://www.nhk-ondemand.jp/goods/G2011028260SA000/> [Accessed 10 October 2021].
- UT Health Austin. 2021. The Surprising Health Benefits of Love. [online] Available at: <https://uthealthaustin.org/blog/health-benefits-of-love> [Accessed 10 October 2021].
