Introduction
Some people have stereotypes about brothers and sisters, or the first and the youngest. For example, there is a preconception that a family with only brothers has a blunt atmosphere and that a house with only sisters has a harmonious and strict environment. So, this time, what are some preconceptions about the first and the youngest? A typical story is that the eldest is the responsible and considerate one. However, the youngest usually has a friendly personality but can also be selfish. In fact, there are many variables in determining everything. In particular, the most relevant aspect is the home environment, including parental education and the closeness between parents and children.
Characteristics of the oldest, middle, and youngest
Usually, the eldest grows naturally due to trial and error. Sometimes, parents are so greedy that they have problems with strictness. In this case, the child may become obsessed with perfection or rules, which, in the future, brings a lot of stress to the child. Also, the eldest has to yield parental attention to his younger siblings. Most of the time, the eldest gets jealous or yields, but, as he grows up, he develops responsibility due to repeated and continuous education. They are always reliable and sincere because they, even when they are young, take care of their younger siblings. The most significant point is that the responsibility of the oldest children is so strong that they tend to focus on what they achieve and can be under extreme pressure.
The middle child can grow up more freely because his parents have already experienced trial and error. In short, parents may pay less attention to them, so the second child mainly tries to attract their parents’ attention. These efforts make people happy and laugh, and they are likely to become such people when they grow up. However, these children sometimes feel alienated. They tend to tell themselves, “I’m neither the eldest nor the youngest.” They may be confused by thinking who they are. In general, parents tend to focus more on the eldest or the youngest, which can cause great hurt and loneliness to their middle child. They can suffer alone and grow up to be somewhat rebellious or influential children in any group. This is because, as mentioned above, they can feel alienated by their families and form a stronger bond with their friends.
Finally, the youngest is born with the most free-spirited and generally outgoing personality. They can be attractive in society because they are friendly and gregarious. The most amusing part is that the youngest children are adventurous and curious, so they have a strong spirit of challenge. The youngest can grow up to be a lovely child because he receives the love of his brothers and parents at once, but if he does something wrong, he can grow up to be a rude child. For example, in Korea, there is a proverb related to this. The adage, “If you only say yes, your habits will get worse,” means that it is not right to love by only saying “yes” unconditionally. If sufficient education for this is not achieved, it can grow into an egocentric person. In addition, progressive, active, and simplicity can be the main characteristics of the youngest.
Characteristics of siblings and only children
One study found that only children and children with siblings are more likely to develop different brain structures. According to other studies, only children scored lower in terms of sociability but higher in terms of creativity than children with siblings. Given these results, we need to look at how the two groups of children grow up and their characteristics.
First of all, the only child must solve entertainment, adventure, and all learning themselves. Creativity and independence can be developed in this course because there are no siblings to interfere with or help. On the other hand, children with siblings can solve all entertainment or learn together. Through this process, they can achieve the ability to exchange thoughts, communicate, and form a more comfortable social relationship. In addition, there is a difference in the formation of bonds between families. In the case of only children, there is no family to communicate with other than parents. It makes the only child look lonely and selfish. Especially during puberty, children may have difficulty communicating with their parents. Most children think alone at this time, and even if the decision is not correct, they judge and act on their own. However, children with siblings can think, solve, and make better decisions among themselves. Easily put, by referring to the experiences of siblings, better results can be derived.
Ideal growth process for children, based on their birth order
As mentioned above, there are many factors in developing children’s tendencies. It is largely divided into internal and external factors, some of which are out of our control. What we can’t control are heredity and parental character. Unfortunately, the biggest impact is heredity. However, the key is that parents can elicit their children’s potential through proper education. If parents leave their children unattended because they are not interested, the child cannot learn what is right. This can lead to many problems, such as less judgment, lack of social skills, and elective disability.
Firstly, the eldest is anxious by the sense of mission to protect his younger siblings. Therefore, parents need to communicate frequently with the firstborn to reduce their worries and stress. Parents should try to reduce the burden of having the eldest handle everything alone, discuss ways periodically to solve problems together, and help broaden their thoughts. Secondly, the middle child should be educated not to experience identity confusion. They should take a particularly close look at negotiations and how to compromise. In the worst case, the middle child can compare himself with his brothers or sisters and lose confidence. Therefore, it is most important to realize how precious they are. Parents should consciously pay attention to their second child, and sometimes, it is good to take only their second child on a picnic. If parents tell their middle child, “We are happy to have you,” the middle child will be happy alone without telling it to the eldest and youngest. It is one of their features. The second child likes secrets between his parents and himself, so he is less likely to disclose them to other siblings. Parents can build a better relationship with their children by referring to these points. Lastly, no specific education is recommended for the youngest children, who can naturally receive discipline from the eldest and are less likely to cause social problems. However, it should be noted that, sometimes, they need strict rules. Due to their free-spirited nature, they may easily lose self-control and face uncontrollable conditions. In particular, parents should give the youngest children tasks and train them to solve problems alone to make them self-reliant.
Conclusion
Genetics plays a huge role in deciding what kind of person children will be when they grow up, but in the end, it depends on their parents’ capabilities. If parents spend a lot of time with their children in art galleries, children can naturally develop their senses while being more exposed to their artistic feelings, for instance. “The moment we start parenting, a new life opens up.” Many people may have heard something similar. There is no perfect way of parenting, and it is very complex and diverse. Ideal educational methods scatter on the Internet, but there is no perfect person in the world. All children’s tendencies depend on their parents’ efforts, and there are no shortcomings or bad children from birth.
References
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